I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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