I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
