She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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