my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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