you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I got inside last night via doggy door
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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