He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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