So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
