I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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