Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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