They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
