My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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