Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
