I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
