Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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