I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I will pee on everything he values.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
