we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
