Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
