You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
