Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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