Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
