I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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