I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
