Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
