If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just cropdusted the office
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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