i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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