HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
