if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Can Purell be used as lube?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
