i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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