trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
