Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
