I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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