So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
