I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
