i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
