why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
