"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
