I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
