i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
