there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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