I bet he comes in French.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
