She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
