I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
