8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
