reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
