..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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