My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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