im six kinds of drunk right now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
