we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
