Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
