I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
