I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
