can we get nightvision for the apartment?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
