Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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