So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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