I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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