Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So vagazzling was a success
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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