Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
