how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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