im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
