it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
